I want to be perfectly clear, I am very thankful for parents who gave me absolutely the best wedding ever. Though our wedding day was more than I could have ever imagined, I would have been just as happy getting married at the courthouse as long as it meant I was Chase’s wife at the end of the day. (If my dad ever reads this he will say, “well why didn’t you do that and save us some money?”)
The wedding industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. From TV Shows, magazines, to the Pinterest board you secretly created (guilty). I realized after posting our wedding video, and doing the obligatory “a year ago today was the best day ever…yadda ya” that I’m doing a disservice to my readers. I’ve been asked to do a few blog posts on the planning aspect of my wedding and while I fully intend on doing so, I really feel I need to focus this post on the actual marriage.
From the time we are little we envision our wedding. I know I did. It all just seemed so magical — even the cartoons we grow up watching have the wedding as the climax of the movie “…and they lived happily ever after. The End”. We are taught that if you can just make it to the wedding you will get your “happily ever after”. You picture everything from your dress, flowers, décor, bridesmaids, etc. However, if you’re like me the one thing you didn’t picture was your groom. He was not important, just a faceless figure in your fairy tale. You created this entire day about you and didn’t even factor in the real reason for the wedding…the marriage.
It wasn’t until I met Chase that “the wedding” became less of a desire. Of course it was something I wanted but not more than “the marriage”. By the time we were engaged, it took everything I had not to go to the courthouse and do the thing…before he changed his mind haha. See at this point becoming his wife and starting our life together was all I cared about. No big production or fancy frills necessary.
This thought process became very evident while wedding dress shopping. I was torn between two dresses – I was asked “when you imagine yourself walking down the aisle, which dress do you see?” without hesitation I replied, voice cracking “I don’t see a dress I just see Chase” (cue tears falling). After years of envisioning a faceless figure, the figure at the end of the aisle had a face and seeing it was all that mattered, not the dress.
Growing up my mother had (and still has) an old newspaper clipping hanging on our fridge titled “10 tips for a happy/successful life” (or something like that) the very first tip was:
Marry the right person, this will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
I see it all too often, couples focused on and more excited about the wedding than they are their actual marriage. And I’m just putting this out there, I have seen my fair share of girls and guys who I feel legit get married just so they can have a wedding. Over here stressing about invitations when you need to be focused on actually having a conversation that doesn’t end in a fight. Let me clue you in, the wedding lasts a few hours…the marriage lasts a lifetime. Once the day is over – it’s just the two of you.
Marriage is 100% more amazing than any wedding could ever be. Now I’m not saying don’t have a wedding, clearly the wedding is awesome, I’m just saying don’t make it the climax of your relationship. My wedding day was honestly one of the most precious days. It was so full of love and happiness. Wearing the dress, dancing, celebrating with your loved ones is truly exciting, but the aftermath, the marriage — that’s the happily ever after.